Shabbat Shalom

The other night, after one too many margaritas at a birthday dinner, I decided to crash for the evening on a friend's couch. I was already on the Upper West Side, the same neighborhood where I had to be early the next morning to serve as the witness to a conversion at the mikvah. So rather than stumble my way home, I crashed on the couch of a friend, and went to work the next morning unshowered, tired, hungover and wearing the same clothes as the day prior.

Coffee tasted really good that morning. The immersion in our people's cleansing waters was a beautiful sight to witness. The ride home in the subway, and anticipation of the upcoming shower was amazing and exciting.

I sat next to my boss on the 2 train during our return to Brooklyn. We talked, compared notes, and passed the long ride. He noticed my less-than-pristine condition and inquired. Having nothing to hide, I told him the story. His response was clear and telling.

"Where are your tefilin?" he said. He said it with no patronizing intent. He meant what he said.

I had woken up away from home and was now out and about. Obviosuly, I'd prayed already this morning. Where were my tefilin?

I hadn't davened shacharit, in fact. But that's not the focus of this post. Rather, I wonder what it takes to move people to a place of halakhic expectation. That is, can we achieve a level of understanding that others will wake up in the morning and lay tefilin? Can we do that without an air of holier-than-thou? Can we wonder about how someone's ability to observe, ask them about it, and have a real conversation without feeling awkward, hurting feelings or making people feel bad about what they have or haven't done?

Because I, for one, appreciated that question on that subway train. It made my prayer ethic seem so much less lonely; so communal, even though I do it in isolation. It reminded mr that I'm a part of something bigger, that there are expectations that I must live up to - a God to serve who cares about my practice and a people who I'm a part of who care as well.

This comes, at once, both totally naturally to me, yet it feels somewhat weird - weird to talk on the street about obligation, weird to look at someone and assume that they observed the mitzvah. This is, afterall, because of my background, because of the context in which I have lived most of my life - the Reform Movement.

Just this week though, the same day as that fateful subway trip, I sat at a table, over dinner, with colleagues and friends who feel similar to me. I was joined by other Jews who had grown up in the movement but had rather traditional understandings of mitzvah and obligation. Students and teachers, friends, even a former NFTY president, we sat and talked, unconvincedthat we knew what answers we saught, but certain that the status quo is far from good enough.

And though we came to no solution, no magical new way of changing the world, just being surrounded by the sense of chiyuv, of halakhic obligation in a liberal environment, felt good. It felt great.

It felt great to enter back into the intellectual debate, to rejoin that world of cerebral exercise for its own sake. To feel expected, and to expect back, gave me purpose and place.

More than just a seat at a table or on a subway car, but a comforting reminder of who I am and how and why I am on this earth, in this world.

I carry that feeling, that sense of drive and purpose, that wholeness, into this Shabbat. That completeness, that sense of shalem, will this week compliment my shalom.

Shabbat shalom!

Comments

[Debra]

a thought-stirring, positive post. As you may know, the Arnie Eisen has this year asked all Conservative shuls to talk about mitzvah and obligation, about what it means for Conservative Jews. I'm hoping to give a dvar Torah at PSJC on this subject, which naturally as a Conservative Jew I wrestle with. David, of course I know that you come out of the Reform movement and have long considered yourself a Reform Jew, albeit a more observant one than most of your co-denominationalists. Isn't the concept of halachic obligation really the dividing line between Reform and Conservative theology? Do you still consider yourself a Reform Jew? Not that any of us need labels, of course. But I am dafka a Conservative Jew because I believe in this concept, even if I don't always live up to my own ideals. Shabbat shalom. -Debra p.s. it would be great if you did some primary text learning with Ari on this topic when you see him.

[Jesse]

Interesting comment, Debra... to be dafka a Conservative Jew because you believe in the concept. I more often than not find myself in the same situation which David has often described both on and offline. I believe in the concept of Reform Judaism. Does that make me (or anyone) a Reform Jew? More than believing in it, I have acted within it, for it, and upon it. But does that make me a Reform Jew? What is it that "makes" us Jews of one type or another? Is it about belief? Is it about action? Is it about comfort?

I ask this, because your comment is the first time I have heard someone align themselves with a movement based on the belief in the concept of the movement. It's quite intriguing, and will surely have me thinking for weeks now.... thanks!

On a side note... Singer.... you drink margaritas....I'm just going to leave it at that.

[Lyle Rothman]

So much to say but I will keep it short and sweet b/c it is 10:45 pm and I must wake up early to daven RLW well umm Shacharit :)

To echo the words of R. Artson - We are all obligated to follow the mitzvot, 613 or any other combo. But there is a difference between internal obligation and external obligation. For those of us that live each day knowing God is "melech haOlam" our internal obligations and our external obligations from God align. For those of us who don't view God as a law giver we seem to only follow our internal obligations. The goal them seems to be to get out internal obligations to align with our external obligations. Reform, Conservative, Traditional are just boxes them help us realize our ultimate obligations or sometimes restrict us.

Just a few thoughts off the top of my head

[David]

Hahaha.

Thank you, Lyle, for quoting Artson. You've made my day.

And great points/questions Debra and Jesse. I appreciate them. I hope to continue this point further tomorrow with a second post.