thinking jewish

Amen, Selah

Yesterday, I needed to buy a heavy coat for the incoming onslaught of winter. As a last resort, I went to the Gap. A few feet from me, as I tried on what would become my new pea coat, a large, African-American, tough-looking-with-curly-dreadlocks employee yelled out to his coworker:

Him: "OK! Enough is enough. I've had enough of this! I can't stand it anymore! No more of this acid-washed, boot cut, low rise, long-ledded, small waist, perfect fit, stretch, has-to-fit-perfectly-jeans, me, me, me society. No more! Take your God-damned jeans and be happy with them; let them all be the same and simple. No more "me!" Thank you for listening to my rant. The end."

Me: "Amen!"

Him: "Dayenu. Enough already!"

I love this city.

Jackass Award

This may result in me being shot tomorrow by the Iranian secret service, but I think it's important to publish a picture of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadhishknnvihzskdfn today as he accepted his award for Jackass of the Year.

It was a tight race, but, seeing as he all but certainly will be a finalist again next year, GW was kind enough to let Mahmoud take the prize this time around.

In case you're wondering, the sign in the picture reads in full:

"The world without Zionism is no place I'd like to be!"

L for Luxury

New York City's Metropolitan Transportation Authority oversees the operation of 24 different subway lines. Some trains function in groups, such as the 4-5-6, the 1-2-3, and the A-B-C-D-E-F. Others run between short distances, such the as S, a shuttle between Time Square and Grand Central Terminal, roughly 5 blocks. Some use wide trains, others narrow. Some lines are clean, others dirty.

L is the best line of them all.

The L runs, in Manhattan, along 14th street, and then out through some of the trendier neighborhoods of Brooklyn. The L line stations are nicely built and kept clean. The 8th Avenue station has small statues of 6 inch tall people in every nook and cranny of the underground maze. The 1st Avenue station has a flower shop, the only underground flower shop I have ever seen in Manhattan.

Most importantly, the L line uses the newest of the MTA's subway cars; cars even newer than the ones that run along the 4-5-6 line. While the electronic woman was confused and thought that we had passed to Brooklyn while we were under 6th Avenue, he voice was nonetheless soothing and clear. The car was clean and open, and the train ran quickly.

The L is the best line of them all. Get out there and support it!

It's Gettin' Hot in Here

Today, at 10:17 AM, my super finally turned on this building's heat. Steam now coils through metal block-things in each of my rooms. Sometimes they spew out water. Odd.

Now I can stay warm without using my oven as a furnace. That is excitement worth blogging about, even on Shabbat.

Now, if only my super could find time to fix my intercom. Then I would be able to have friends over without them getting stuck in the mail room...

UPDATE:
An hour later, the heat is now off again. It seems to be gettin' cold in here anew.

Quote of the Day, Revised

"Don't get a dog, get a girlfriend! You don't have to walk them and they do all types of other things too!"

-My mom

Quote of the Day

Sarah Verity: i wish my life had those things
David Singer: spontaneous singing, puppets, asian neighbors or sex?
Sarah Verity: well i guess i don't really need puppets or asian neighbors

My Life

Minus the spontaneous singing, puppets, asian neighbors and sex, I just watched my life enacted on stage, in the form of Avenue Q, the Broadway musical.

I guess that means that we all live generic lives here in New York City. Work, play, sleep, eat - it's all the same. We live on different streets, some of us are still in grad-school, others out in the real-world work force, but the issues don't change. We're broke but live expensive lives in the richest city in the world. We're confused about purpose and surrounded by the most determined and purposeful people and organizations in the world. We waste days in our cubicle-apartments and spend others running from the Metropolitan Museum of Art to Broadway for a show and downtown to Nobu for dinner.

We're all the same, little carbon copies of each other, hiding from nine days of constant rain under our identical black umbrellas.

God Bless the Sumerians

While wasting my Sunday afternoon in West Elm, an employee came up to my side. "I'm Jewish..."

Mazel tov. Want a cookie?

"I've always been wondering. Before there were clips like the shiny ones you have, how did Jews wear yarmulkes? I mean, did they fall off all the time?"

Now there's a question. What did we do? Without RiteAid, how's a Jew supposed to live a meaningful Jewish life?

The answer, my friend, goes back thousands of years. In fact, bobby pins likely existed before kippot did. The Sumerians used them to connect fabrics, and in Medieval times bobby pins were used to fasten documents together.

Now if we only knew who Bobby was...

Tu B'Shvat in October

There are so many things to love about this city. But did you know that the municipality will provide you with a tree to plant in front of your building for free?

If there's a pit on your sidewalk begging for a friend, follow this link and make the city greener.

Quote of the Day

"We had fun making this family... a lot of fun."

-My Grandma