thinking jewish

Sometimes

Sometimes life here is nothing short of beautiful.
Every moment is imbued with holiness.
The trees are all green, each yard filled with blooming flowers.
Every restaurant has a friendly waiter and a tasty wholesome meal.
Each person on the street a friend, your barber - family.

Sometimes the weather cannot be ugly.
Every warm day brings with it a cool breeze,
Every cool day a sunny sky.
Sometimes everyone gets along, everything is perfect;
And this country is a small taste of the world to come...

But sometimes...

Sometimes the skies are grey, the streets are dirty, and every person obnoxious.
Sometimes nothing in this country is quick.
Everything takes forever.
Sometimes the people can't communicate,
All streets lead to nowhere.
Sometimes your landlady's "labido operation" is now your problem.

Sometimes...

John Kerry for President

After much consultation and consideration, we here at Life on the Far Side have decided to follow in the footsteps of The New York Times and, similarly, issue our own first-ever political endorsement.

We worried it would be a hard discussion process, weeding through the many pros and cons of both candidates. We sat down, together at the table in the office meeting room with many snacks and pots of coffee.

After finishing assessing John Kerry, we moved on to the incumbent, President George Bush. We looked at his cons, and then turned to his pros, only to find none. Baffled, we assumed the pile of papers must have been altered, but, to no avail, could they be found.

Seeking expert advice, we searched for answers. "Where are they Mr. Wizard?" we asked.

His answer, short and direct, was "They are missing, nonexistent, Johnny. Just like the Weapons of Mass Destruction."

Astonished, we concluded the only conclusion possible:

John Kerry for President of the United States of America! Come Tuesday, get out the vote!

Quote of the Day

"Keep caring. We need people like you in the world. I'll keep not-caring because we need people like me too."

-Becky Gimbel

Mighty HUCs Almost Pull Through

In the first game season, the Mighty HUCs came close to a win, but were held from a winning touchdown by the Pardes Pandas at the last minute. Final score: Pardes 12, HUC 7.

The game was close, but in the end HUC didn't pull through. After seeing significant improvement over the scrimmage with Pardes two weeks ago, the Mighty HUCs played hard and gave Pardes a fair run for their money.

Pardes took a quick lead which HUC was never able to break when they scored their first touchdown within a few minutes of the start of play.

But HUC never gave up. Playing hard, they were willing to sacrifice any and all body parts for the team. Rachel "HaShakranit" Crossley dove onto cement to attempt a tackle. Joel "The Cheetah" Simmonds gave both knees and a little skin while trying to score a touchdown.

Just before halftime, HUC had control of the ball on their 35. Trying to score their first touchdown and bring themselves within 6 points of Pardes, QB Dan Medwin played a sneak run. Charging down the field, it seemed as if he may score. But out of nowhere, two Pardes players approached to grab his flag. Seeing the incoming danger, David "Berkeley" Singer tried to cut them off. Apparently, however, he cannot see to well without his glasses, and instead charged head on into Medwin, taking the wall-like five-footer's shoulders straight into his ribcage.

Cheered on the whole game by a loyal group of team mom's, HUC's morale stayed strong the whole game. It was a fair a hard fight, and the Mighty HUCs have shown drastic improvement. We can only wait and see what the future of this team will be when they play again next Tuesday at 9 PM.

Public Service Announcement

Attention K-mart Shoppers:

At all future Ma'ariv services, Tal Rosen will be lying down during the Shema, according to the opinion of the school of Shammai. For, as it is written, "when you lie down, and when you rise up."

Thus sayith the Lord, Amen.

"Sharon Sharon - ya ya ya...!"

Every Friday I practice with the HUC football (American, not soccer) team at Gan Soccer, a big beautiful field in קריאת הממשלה (Government Neighborhood). Above me, standing tall is the K'nesset, Israel's parliament. To most Americans who see it, the building is anticlimactic, rather plain, small by comparison to the Capitol Building, and, generally, not that pretty.

But this time, it was different, this time that collection of stones meant the world. Finally, I got it...

At 6:45 we were running late. As we raced past Gan Soccer, on our way back up the next hill to the Israel Museum, it was funny to notice how bright the field is made at night. "Maybe we can hold practice this late!" someone remarked.

The closer we got to the museum, the more police and border patrol soldiers there were - everywhere. Streets were blocked to traffic, pedestrians had taken over. Entering the crowd, I felt a little uneasy.

I never thought I would ever step foot at a שלום אכשיו (peace now) rally. What am I doing here?

But my unease gave way to shear excitement. This time, at least, I supported them. This time, we all agreed. I grabbed a few bumper stickers for myself and to send home.

In the center of the crowd were 100 or so kids from שומר הצעיר(left-wing Labor youth movement) huddled arm in arm. They chanted some slogans, jumped around a lot, and had a good time...

Then we started to move. The march began. Our destination - the K'nesset.

Inside was the beginning of a 24 hour marathon session during which the disengagement plan was being debated and, finally, voted on. Inside, the leaders of the country in which I now live were making one of the most contested and crucial decisions affecting this state in the last thirty years. Inside, leading this (mess), Ariel Sharon: the man loved by his enemies and vilified by his supporters. The right-of-center Prime Minister who's very life is being threatened by those who voted him into office and whose coalition is being held in one piece by the opposition.

אריק, אריק, ילא ילא - צת מאזה ורמאלה

We walked, banners and signs in hand towards that monstrous building which, suddenly, made sense. The building had meaning. I marched in protest, with Israelis young and old, towards the house of government of the first Jewish autonomous state in two thousand years.

אחד, שתיים, שלוש, עשרים - לפחות מנצרים

Then we reached the end. Packed like sardines, the thousands stood in front of the K'nesset. Then came the speeches...

Peres...

Melchior...

Beilin...

The very architects of the Peace Process, the leaders of sanity and tolerance and pluralism in this insane country, spoke to us.

There's something just a little more moving about hearing these men speak in Hebrew, in front of the K'nesset, in between their own speeches on the K'nesset floor, than in English at Berkeley Hillel... something different.

Something different indeed...

Bear in Mind

Ever play the Google game?

To play, go to Google and search for yourself, then see what comes up. It's fun.

I decided to play this morning for the first time in a while and look what I found! Topping my list, I was pleasantly surprised to come across my Bear in Mind interview from two years ago. If you've been dying to check it out again, please do so. Basically, the Chancellor invited me onto his radio program to "discuss" with him, really "debate" with another student, the Arab-Israeli conflict. Check out what a strapping and linguistically poignant young lad I was two years ago.

I wonder where I went wrong...

Also, two important things of note on the link:

1. Listen to the interview with Sumana Harihareswara, she's hilarious.
2. Look at the picture on the top of the page. On the far right bottom is David A., asleep. Way to go smooth man!

Why I Miss Cal

The Daily Cal has a nice front page story on the big drug bust at Cal this week. Basically, four students were running a pot and meth operation in their apartment in South Berkeley. One died, the cops found out, and the rest is history.

Apparently, the guys also kept a nice list of all the people they supplied to which is now, conveniently, in the hands of the Alameda County District Attorney.

Oops.

Quote of the Day

"The focus of prayer is not the self. A man may spend hours meditating about himself, or be stirred by the deepest sympathy for his fellow man, and no prayer will come to pass. Prayers comes to pass in a complete turning of the heart toward G-d, toward His goodness and power. It is the momentary disregard of our personal concerns, the absence of self-centered thoughts, which constitute the art of prayer.

The purpose of prayer is not the same as the purpose of speech. The purpose of speech is to inform; the purpose of prayer is to partake.

Ultimately the goal of prayer is not to translate a word by to translate the self; not the render an ancient vocabulary in modern terminology, but to transform our thoughts into thoughts of prayer. Prayer is the soul's imitation of the spirit, of the spirit that is contained in the liturgical words."

Abraham Joshua Heschel
Man's Quest for G-d

My Friends, the Anti-Semites

Unless you've lived in a bat cave for the last four years, you know that, in my days at Cal, I was a little involved in the whole pro-Israel thang. Well, it seems my friends have now picked up and relocated themselves from Berkeley to Duke...

My cousin Craig has been keeping them in check and, for the most part, they haven't been to out of line; until today.

The Duke Chronicle ran an op-ed today by one of their supporters. In short it is one of the most (and I don't use the word lightly) anti-Semitic pieces of junk I have ever seen run in a college newspaper. Yes, much worse than anything I can muster to remember from my times at Berkeley. Here are some highlights:

"It is well known that Jews constitute the most privileged “minority” group in this country. Among the top 10 universities, Jews enjoy shocking overrepresentation: Only the California Institute of Technology has an undergraduate Jewish population below 10 percent, and four schools have particularly stark Jewish advantages—Harvard (30 percent), Yale (23 percent), UPenn (31 percent) and Columbia (25 percent). Keep in mind that, at best estimate, no more than 3 percent of all Americans are Jewish.

While Jews undoubtedly lay claim to a long history of racism and genocide that continues across the world today, this characterization does not transport perfectly to the United States... In short, Jews can renounce their difference by taking off the yarmulke...

When former President Bill Clinton nominated his first two judges to the Supreme Court, both were Jews. Remarkable in the slightest? No, of course not. But the American public still can’t get over Clarence Thomas’s cultural heritage, after being appointed by Bush 41. To be Jewish is to have the right to move seamlessly between the majority and minority, without constraint. Thus, Jewish-American appropriation of the “oppressed” moniker is disingenuous, belying the reality of America’s social hierarchy...

As the world-renowned historian John Hope Franklin mentions, the U.S. decision to authorize federal funding of a holocaust memorial on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.—hallowed ground otherwise reserved for commemorating U.S. history—camouflages this nation’s guilt in our own crimes against humanity: the Native American genocide and slavery."

I want to puke... how about you?